My life as a Mouse killer, Dog butt examiner.

It's that time of year here in Colorado. Warm days, cool nights. So that means mice. For some reason, the tail tale (or is it tale tail? ) signs are more prevalent than normal (lots of mice poop). I think we must of had a family reunion under the sink! Little piles everywhere. I also think I saw a few tiny beer cans under there too, a few tire tracks if you look close enough. Maybe they are "Hells Mice"?; anyway I digress.

Now, I'm not a big fan of the little creatures, but I don't run and jump on the table and hold my skirt up when I see one either. And since my hubby is a total wuss when it comes to our four legged friends, I'm the "TRAPPER" of the family. Over the course of this week, I've caught 4 of the little buggers. I have a total of 8 traps set at any one time. So, I mean business!

Confident there are more lingers out there in the crevasses of my kitchen, I decide this time to set a trap under the corner of the fridge. As I was cleaning up after dinner. I heard that faint "Snap" sound. A bit conflicted over that sound, (I feel sad that I have to exterminate them.. but glad they are gone), I immediate look to the fridge to see if that one was the lucky winner. But, guess what, it was GONE! I know.. that's not a good sign.

I get down on all fours to see if maybe the trap got shoved under the fridge further than when I initially set it, and it was flat out missing! This is weird, because no one in my family touches the traps (again.. wussies).
As I'm searching for the trap, guess what I see....

The little mouse trying to drag itself with it's front legs across the floor of the kitchen! Little scratchy noises on the floor. OMG! CREEP-OH-LA!! It had it's little tongue sticking out and everything!

EEK! Now that's nasty! I felt so bad for it! You think they'd tell each other to watch out for the traps. But, no.... free meal, come and get it. Snap!

So, what do you do now? You have to put it out of it's misery! I really had no clue what to do or how to do it. I called my FIL, the hunter. He suggested I whack it with a hammer! UH NO! He said to put it in a baggy, and squeeze the air out of it. Again. Forget it buddy. Nothing seemed humane. I decided to drop the BIG phone book on it. Fast and hopefully painless.

Man I feel bad. When I disposed of the poor thing in the trash, I said a little mouse prayer over it! I know trapping mice is a necessary evil, as
they carry disease and everything. I just wish I didn't have to do it! I really feel terrible.

Then about 12 hours later.. I get the delightful chore to do this..
Keep in mind, what I had to do yesterday, this could be 100 times worse!!)


My 4 year old DD came to me about 1/2 hr ago and said, "Suntins wrong with "Harley" (our dog). There is suntin commin' out of his bbhind."

(SHIVER) UH BOUUY!

So, I go find the poor thing, and sure enough, there's something coming out alright. Not entirely sure what to do (Twice in 24 hours I'm clueless as to what I should do!)

I make a phone call. This time I call the vet. Vet says gently pull on it and if you feel any resistance to stop and come right in.

Well, I pull on it, and it's a string. The string from one of my "lady supplies". Which tells me the other part is still inside. This is not good!
At this point, I'm not quite certain who's more embarrassed, me or the dog!

EW EW EW. Where's a half dead mouse when you need one?

I call the vet back, tell her what it is. She says.. oh no problem it'll pass. They eat those all the time! What????

What is it with dogs? They sniff buts, eat their own poop, and now enjoy the taste of a used well.. you know. I'm fairly certain, I will never let a dog lick me ever ever again!!

(shiver)

My life has come down to killing half dead mice with the phone book, and pulling used tampons out of dogs butts. Great! Just Great! Any road kill you need me to scoop up. Looks like I'm your girl!

ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew. (I need a hug to stop the growdie shivers!)


I quit. Can I have a mulligan on the lat 24 hours. I'm creeped out.